It’s been a few days and you haven’t heard from him.

No texts.

No calls.

Nothing.

Last week I talked about what to do in this situation.

But the more important thing to think about…possibly the more uncomfortable thing to think about.

Is why do you care that they haven’t called?

In this scenario, I imagine that this is a man that you have met maybe a few times or perhaps you have only matched on a dating site and never actually met.

So somebody when we look at it pragmatically is fairly insignificant in your life.

And yet the impact of them not calling can be devastating. I know, I’ve been there.

But why is this.

Why do we spend hours looking at our phones, talking to our friends about every interaction, dissecting every message they sent and gesture they made and perhaps even stalking them on Whats app to see when they were last online.

For one reason..we have attached ourselves to them way, way to soon.

Now, I don’t mean to sound judgmental here.

As someone who used to attach far to easily, I know how easy it is to do.

And if you anxiously attach as well as easily attach then it can set off all sorts of alarm bells in your system which will be driving you crazy right now.

All you want to know is that he is still there, that it isn’t over, that there ishope.

But why.

Because you have built up an idea of this man, a fantasy relationship with him.

When in truth you barely know him.

And, if we are honest, it is the hope of having that relationship that you don’t want to lose. Not the man.

Because if we are brutally honest with ourselves, if we have only had few dates with him or sent a few messages then we don’t know this person well enough to know if we want a relationship with him.

We do with the man in our head, who looks and speaks like him.

But that is not the real him.

So how do we get over this.

How do we learn to not care that he hasn’t called.

It’s not easy.

But it can be done.

Firstly, write done what has actually happened, no flowery language, no fantasy. Just cold hard facts.

It might read something like this.

I matched with a man I was attracted to. We sent a few messages and went on one date which I enjoyed. I have not heard from him again.

Written like that it doesn’t sound anywhere near or as exciting or dramatic as it may feel to you.

But it is the truth of the situation.

Yes, he may be being rude by not calling you.

Yes, you can send a message if you want to.

But you haven’t lost the love of your life.

You’ve met someone who didn’t see how amazing you are.

So detach from him.

Move on with you life.

Better men will come along.

And you will no longer care that this guy didn’t call.

I’ll speak to you next week.

Rosie