Last week I promised you a way of dealing with disappointment when dating.

If you were anything like me, when you started dating you were full of hope and perhaps even excitement of meeting new people and perhaps that new partner.

I can still remember having some friends round and downloading Bumble and carefully crafting my profile. 

Choosing the words and pictures…with my friends’ help.

Before starting to swipe left or right.

It all felt like fun, that I was just one swipe away from connecting with my man.

I imagined drinks, dinners, picnics and walking hand in hand into the sunset.

But of course the reality hit.

The first man I matched with didn’t respond to me.

And that started the long journey of dating that 4 years on I am still going though. 

And perhaps like you I have met some nice men who could be a friend but nothing more. 

I have also been ghosted – then zombied, breadcrumbed, orbited and all the rest of the terms.

Thankfully  I have yet to receive a dick pic!

At first it is easy to brush off these disappointments but eventually – unless you have very thick skin they add up. 

And you start to lose hope.

Until eventually even the thought of meeting someone, the hope that you might, becomes too painful.

What do you do then?

You may cry to your friends, ‘I’ll never meet anyone’ to which they reply ‘Of course you will, you just need to ‘keep trying/ stop looking/ go out and meet people’ (delete as appropriate) and then you will’

But maybe the disappointment is just too much.

So what do you do?

You don’t really want to stop looking do you?

Because deep down you do want to meet someone.

But right now the disappointment is too much and the hope is too painful.

Here is what you do.

It’s simple.

You allow yourself to consider the possibilities.

Because you are right. 

There is a possibility that you will never meet anyone.

What would you do if that was the case?

Cry, wail, punch a cushion several times?

Take a quick trip to Ann Summers to make sure you have everything you need to take care of yourself in that department?

And then what?

Once you were over the shock you would go off and create yourself the most amazing life.

That is one possibility.

There is also the possibility that you will meet your partner tomorrow in Sainsburys.

Or in 2 weeks time at the beach.

Or that you have another 3 amazingly passionate and fulfilling relationships in your life.

All those are possibilities.

So if the disappointment is too much.

If hope is painful.

Just allow your mind to be open to any and all possibilities. 

You don’t need to think about what the possibilities are because they are endless.

All you need to do when you are feeling like dating is to hard is say to yourself,

I am open to all possibilities.

It may not work instantly.

But it will help ease the disappointment and make hope, hopeful again.

Speak to you next week